Accept or Reject?
pictures courtesy of Google
Recently, I received a request from a professional networking site. An invite to connect. Common enough. Sure you can relate. This one, however, was different. A person from the past who I might consider, oh I don’t know, lets just say someone who did me wrong. Acted out in a big way. And directed years of pent up anger and contempt in my direction. But that was some time ago, and since then I’ve worked through, accepted my part and let go of the sense of injustice that sometimes comes along with being collateral damage. With that being said, the invitation still sat in my inbox.
Since issues were resolved, my inclination was to let the message idle, swirling indefinitely in cyberspace. After all, why would this person consider it okay to contact me hidden behind the virtual anonymity of the internet? Before I started to guess at the how or why (a complete waste of brain power in my experience, considering unless told, we really have no idea what someone else is thinking) I asked myself the question. The mental test I run through when faced with indecision.
Is this my stuff? Someone else’s? Or both? (Okay, three questions.
Then I sit. Wait. For as long as it takes. To see what comes up.
And bubble up it did. The information I needed. To help me have a deeper understanding of what was going on.
I guess I thought that if I accepted this request, I’m also agreeing to accept this person’s past behavior. (Which, by the way, I don’t. I still haven’t figured out a way to respect the emotional actions that were put ahead of the over all wellness of the group.)
Analyzing my belief system a little closer, I realized something far more important. Was it possible that part of this exchange was meant for my benefit? A opportunity to stretch? Perhaps even grow?
Instead of sitting this time, I walked. Strode ahead. Along a wooded path. Each step pushing any residual irritation down through my feet straight into the crust of the earth. It was no surprise that at the end of the trail, another answer miraculously appeared. Agreeing to this simple act meant nothing more than I no longer want to use my energy to hold on to perils of the past. Insight granting me a fresh perspective about forgiveness. Forgiving doesn’t wipe the record clean, it just says I no longer have the desire to keep track of the infractions.
Instantly, I smiled. Decision resolved. Hoping my fellow human being has discovered some peace and self-respect. Without another thought, I clicked the yellow “accept” box and moved on. Absolutely certain of this one truth. No one gets off. Slips through. Or is allowed an easy way out. Sometimes it seems that way in the short term, but in the twenty-sixth mile of our long life race, the universe reins over the karmic scale. Perpetually seeking balance. A boomerang always returning to us exactly what we give.
Calm and centered, my heart swells with joy. Light as a feather, creative energy whirling, I sit and begin to write.
E.L. Chappel author of Risk/Spirit Dance
Well aware everything I need to know is out there if I’m willing to take the time to look
aka The Glamorous Wife