I’m behind. I mean as far as setting some goals for the year. Have to admit I started jotting a list a few weeks back, but somehow this year the usual lose the final five pounds, be more organized, renovate every aspect of my hundred-year-old home and write as much as humanly possible just didn’t ring true. Interesting to say the least. Confusing at best. Glancing at a blank to-do list I wonder if I’ve finally gone mad. If past predicts the future, then right about now those who know me well might be getting a visual of a high energy blond strapping a rocket pack to her back. Giddee-up. I coach while goosing the NOS, light the after burners, and wait for the turbo to spool up. After all I’m half Irish and when the going gets tuff, I’m genetically predisposed to barrel through.
But it’s a new year. A blank slate, an opportunity to head in a different direction, perhaps even try on a new pair of shoes. Logical enough right? If it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to the “rockin”, however uncomfortable, Parisian stilettos.
A different approach it is. I decide with only a tiny ping of angst. One that is less of a heart risk and much friendlier to the environment.
Quiet as a cat, I poise on the couch. Sit still and quiet. Close my eyes, open my mind and make a silent request to the universe. Tell me what it is that I need to know to move forward… Bold I realize, but why climb out on the limb if you’re not willing to go for broke. Steadfast I listen for what feels like forever, waiting for a voice, an epiphany, heck any sort of sign. Nothing. I crack an eye just in case the my message is a visual. You can imagine my disappointment that even squinting through one eye I can tell nothing has miraculously changed in the room. Collapsing on the couch, my mind drifts, trying to remember the last place I saw my portable jet pack. In the basement. Next to the Christmas paper. Appropriate enough since during the holidays everyone needs a little boost. Who’s not organized? I grin, likely ear to ear, pleased with myself. Back on my feet, eyes wide as flying saucers, I make my way to the top of the basement stairs.
Pass the first few risers, descend below ground level, each step bringing me closer to the core of Mother Earth. Seemingly out of thin air, ideas pop into my head. No judgement. Rasps like Darth Vader. No attachment in the outcome. The throttley voice hisses. Teetering on the step. I gingerly stretch a tippy-toe to the next level and hear…Experience joy everyday. I hop, jack rabbit style landing flat-footed on my sled-sized feet. Use kindness and compassion…shortly follows. All in, I leap and do the splits in the air. Finally, the voice drops deeper. More serious. Utters… Always speak your truth.
Standing in the dark, at the bottom of the winding staircase, the universe sums it up, fills my requests. Work from the inside out. For there lays all that you search.
No longer behind, my resolution list complete. No judgement, no attachment, joy, kindness, compassion and my truths–more than enough work to keep me busy the entire year.
All the best in 2013.
E.L. Chappel author of Risk/Spirit Dance
Suddenly not so concerned about wearing clothes inside out
aka The Glamorous Wife