Getting What You Want
It’s simple. Just ask my cat.
But before I reveal the secret, the answers to the “how to get what you want” test, let me share what will bring the exact opposite. Actions that keep dreams at arms length, rendering us unable to soar, grounded on the airport tarmac.
Perhaps the most common and difficult to resist is acting excited when something really fantastic happens for a friend or acquaintance all the while thinking less sincere thoughts in your head. Or secretly feeling puffed up and powerful when another is stuck in a rough patch. Have you ever avoided balanced conversation for fear of how well things might be going for others and, instead, rambled non-stop about your fabulous job, life, or family? Pretending, in general, will inevitably kill the “please return to asker” request. Also, not coming clean and speaking truths when a friend in need has asked serious meaning of life questions will divert any happy care packages in a perpetual holding pattern.
Then there’s the dreaded three “C’s”. Comparing, competing, calculating in order to get what appears to be some sort of invisible upper hand. The quickest way, in my opinion, to be knocked off the “get what you want” track. Smiling, but then when heads turn away resorting to gossip, not having the guts to say, “Hey, I know I should be happy for you, but I’m feeling kind of envious.”
Don’t forget about “I deserve or I’m owed,” the fall out from those miserable twins is more than enough to sabotage any karmic gifts. Convincing yourself that if I just had more…time, money, shoes, a trainer, perhaps even a chef…I could be…together, relaxed, thinner, hip and more fit. And on the flip-side is less, yet another self-defeating sound track. If I didn’t have…kids, a crazy job, an unhelpful partner, then I would surely be what I admire. Finally, and this is a whopper, attacking someone else’s hard work because it shines a light on your inaction. None of these tactics work, believe me. At one time or another I tried any number of what I thought were direct routes to success. Disappointed and deflated I sought out another path.
Well, with the what not to do out in the open, raw and naked baking on the asphalt ramp, now is as good of time as any to suggest what seems to work in my experience. Call it the Chandler effect if you will. The secret to shear joy and true contentment.
Ready? Pay close attention, being so short and simple the tactic could be easy to miss: Say what you want out loud to the universe, express sincere gratitude, conduct yourself with integrity and wait. That’s it. Like I said, simple. Nothing more is required to get exactly what you desire.
Alright, ease up on the eye rolls, the disappointed sighs and let’s get back to the part about my tiger-striped tabby cat. Chandler always gets what he wants. Uses the no nonsense approach and therefore is perfectly content. How? Glad you asked.
First, he’ll come by, meow to get attention, then thrust his chin in the air making it clear where he wants to be scratched. Sits and waits. Sees if his request will be filled–if I’m free and willing to scratch his neck. After a few minutes with no response, he’ll wander over to the next warm body in the room. Meow again, and paw his throat. Crouch and sit patiently. If that doesn’t work, Channy lobs one final plea. Flops on his back, legs in the air, caramel colored belly exposed for any willing hand to rub. No takers? No problem, he doesn’t even attempt to pee on the wall, sucker punch our other cat or claw my favorite couch fabric. I watch as he meanders outside, pausing, sniffing merrily until finding a rough spot on the house brick. He paces back and forth stalking like a hunting tiger, systematically rubbing against the sharp corner with each pass. No crying or complaining, pouting or feline fits. Stops, angles his chin and makes sure to get his scratch itched.
After some time, Chandler swaggers back into the house, strides across the floor, pads quietly to the couch. Leaps in the air and lands on my lap. Buries his head against my torso and drifts into a well-earned nap. Holds no grudge, harbors no resentment. Doesn’t appear to glance around to see if any other pet is getting stroked. Sought out what he needed for himself while he waits for the universe to process his ask.
E.L. Chappel author of Risk/Spirit Dance/Storm Chasers
Knowing everything we need is always provided, all we have to ask.
aka The Glamorous Wife