Notes To My Younger Self:
No one can steal your joy.
When offensives come, you can choose to be offended. Or you can choose to use the offense to improve your story, your journey, your life’s adventure. So what’s it going to be? Are you going to be hurt, or take advantage of the opportunity?
Get comfortable with the fact that not everyone is going to be for you. Another undeniable fact is you’re approved because you exist. So why waste valuable time trying to convince other’s you’re okay by doing, thinking, saying things to get their approval?
Instead, use that energy for your passion. Your adventure. Your destiny.
Yes, an offense might feel bad for a second. The question is, what are you going to choose to create after that? (Yes, it is 100% your choice.)
If you want to give your value away to the whims, moods and agendas of others, go ahead. Then, though, when you feel offended, don’t blame them. Step up and own it yourself. You gave your power away. Not them.
You’ll discover that offensives only have power if you align with them. Confident people don’t allow in offenses that don’t align with what they know about themselves. Choose to be confident.
Everyone gets to do, say, and be who they are. You have no control over others. You do have the ultimate authority over what you let in. You are in charge of how you feel. You are in charge of how you behave, what you think. No one can change that but you. Don’t give away your authority. How powerful is that?
Rest assured that unkind, bitter, excluding, judgmental words don’t serve anyone. As much as they attempt to hurt you, fact is, they’re hurting the person who says them more. These acts don’t go unanswered. Just not by you.
Resist the urge to be resentful and critical, making the offender the enemy. The most powerful and productive thing you can do when someone goes against you is ignore them. Ignore the insult. Ignore the slight. Ignore the exclusion. Ignore the unkindness. In the end, you’re the one who stays above the fringe, graced with blessings and energy and peace. Who doesn’t want that? Trust that wrongs are righted. Beauty comes from struggles. Be clear about the difference between arrogance and confidence. Nothing productive can come from paybacks, except becoming drained and distracted missing the very gifts, the blessings, and miracles that are right in front of you. Don’t take the bait. No matter how stinky, how cutting, how tempting. Tear down the walls in your mind of how you think you should respond and try another way. Break out of old belief prison. Honor this moment, it’s the only one of its kind you’ll get. Don’t burn energy wishing things were different. Things are exactly as they’re meant to be for your protection. To keep you focused on your assignment. Your destiny. Go on, it was custom-made for you. Go live it.
E.L. Chappel author of Spirit Dance/Storm Makers/Coming very soon: The Surge
You already have joy. It’s inside you; you were born with it.
It’s yours to give away, if you choose.
aka The Glamorous Wife