“As I left the house this morning on the way to the polls, my wife generously reminded me of the hot voting issues–unemployment, healthcare and the growing national debt. “Paying off the deficit?” I paused in the doorway and smiled at…

Never mind in writing, get it in concrete. Masonry contractor working at my house the morning after the last presidential debate.

“Never get between your horse and a hard place.” Wrangler at The Hideout, Shell, WY

Called my cousin yesterday and begged her to kill me. Dress in black, drive to my house, break in through an open window, creep down the dark hall to my writing area and wring my creatively blocked neck. With gloves of course,…

“I’m too old to get “career minded” I just want to earn some fun money to get my nails done.” Woman who asked me how hard it is to become a published author.

“I know what it’s called, but instead of downward dog, it looks more like upward butt.” Dad discussing yoga fundamentals with his teenage daughter.

Dollars and Cents  “Every time I turn around I catch my dog eating dollar bills.” “I can relate,” his friend sighs and shakes his head. “My wife inhales fifties and hundreds.” Two seniors swapping stories in the teller line at the Bank…

“There is a fee for stupid questions, dumb looks, however, are still free.” My ever reliable air conditioning repairman. One hundred and thirteen degrees in Tulsa and my units are still running. Long live the HVAC king.

“I’m worried Doc. Anytime I go to turn off coverage of the Olympics, my cat complains, meows non-stop until I change the channel back to NBC. Twenty-four seven, he’s glued to the tube. But that’s just the beginning. During the commercials, he…

“He’s a pain in the ass, no doubt about it, but a pain in the ass who makes us money, so let’s look past his shortcomings and focus on the cash.” Lobby of the Hyatt Grand Central New York.