Archive for October 2011

“All my friends are hookers.”   *Note to self: Never mind personality profiles. You can learn a lot about a person by what’s printed on the back of their t-shirt.   *The Ronald Reagan approach to relationships: Surround yourself with variety. People from different levels of education, ethnic backgrounds, vocations and socioeconomic groups. (Even if…

English interpretation of a French lunch menu.   Under appetizers:   Caviar frog leg emulsion, praline bomb finish. (580 euros)   *Note to self: If you’re going to bombed, may as well be a sugary praline.   *DOD’s new secret weapon: “The Sugar Bomb”.   *CNN report from Afghanistan: The Taliban army surrendered to UN…

“Greetings American.” The Parisian cab driver gave the Vulcan hand signal for “Live long and prosper”.   I reached for the door handle. Too late. The Moroccan expat hit the accelerator and merged into traffic.   With both hands flat against the bench seat, I braced for a wild ride.   How fast can I get…

If you’re trying to get somewhere in a hurry, don’t shoot the donkey that is carrying you’re wide load.   *Note to self: Helping others is good. Helping others who take potshots at you, bad.    *How to tell you’re being taken for granted: Sarcastic remarks, aggressive emails and cryptic limericks.(No, not about Nantucket. Generally…

“Bonkers”   *Note to self:  When trying to describe a particularly difficult person with grace, use a word no one really understands.   *Interpretations:  Crazy (institutionally or otherwise), funny, unreasonable, controlling or just a massive ass. (Not the same as “big bumps”.)   *Used in a sentence:  She’s/He’s completely bonkers. (See what I mean.)  …

“Don’t jack my swag”   *loose interpretation:  Don’t copy my style   *note to self:  Does Rosetta Stone have a slang app?   *used in a sentence: Don’t jack my ride, jones my brunch or eye my junk in the trunk. (You jumping jack in the box.)   E.L. Chappel author of Risk In need…

The average projectile for a baby carrot on an appetizer salad is about a three foot straight shot before arching to the floor. (Unless it pegs your neighbor in the arm or barrels into the suit jacket of guest sitting behind you. In either case, half the expected flight path.) If the dinner is black…