Archive for November 2011

Entomologists in a highly coveted PHD program discovered pheromones to repel beetles from weak trees. (Pine beetle be gone forever.) Normally the tiny bugs send out a “feel good” pheromone to attract other beetles. The synthetic anti-pheromone, however, sends out an opposite review. Move along, this tree wasn’t worth a Zagat rating.   A top…

A ton equals 2000 lbs.   *Note to self:  When  you tell someone they “weigh a ton” chose the recipient carefully.   *PC  uses for ton:  Describing airplanes, sports cars, linebackers, chocolate, muscle, and Parisian platforms.    *On a date:  Wow, you’re pick-up is so big, I’ll bet it pulls at least ten tones.  …

“When in doubt cowboy out, make a space for you’re face.”   *Note to self:  Who says participating in high school sports can’t teach life skills?   *Other words of wisdom from my gymnastics coach:  perseverance always prevails, fear isn’t real, and you’re feet wont miss. After all, the balance beam is four inches wide.…

I was standing next to the Wheel of Fortune slots when my friend walked up with a hunky man in tow. (think Russell Crowe in “Gladiator”)    “Hey,” she said and hugged me. Her sidekick waited patiently.    After a few minutes of ‘how are yous’ and travel reports she turned and introduced the man…

Many friends, acquaintances really Different places, short visits Everything is familiar, but still, alone. Competent mostly, but aging quickly, forgetful. Still possessing that special something, coveted by so many and realized by few. The ultimate expert. Well-versed in the ways of the world But humbled to remain silent. Loyal, old-school, clinging to what used to…

Never bite into anything that is labeled time-release. Especially before a business dinner.   *Note to self: It takes less than ten minutes for the human body to flush beet red. An extra five to break out in hives.   *Color me beautiful: Whether you’re a spring, summer, winter or fall, lumpy, ruby colored skin…

In the middle of a seven-by-seven leg set, my work out guru eyed my trembling quads and said, “You need to start taking Creatine.”   “What?” I exhaled and let the steel plates clang. Anytime Smiley (Yes, his name is actually Smiley. Elmore. The Second. His son is the third.) makes a diet recommendation, I…