Seam-split Glam
Another reason to wear nice underwear. I had just finished a delightful meal at the Sonnealp Hotel (translated the name means “sun rising over the alps”; I love that) when the Baron and I got up to leave. We staggered through the dining room, drunk with a food euphoria that always comes with the exquisite…
Read MoreMr. Jingle Bells
Christmas morning my friend called with a holiday tale about her temperamental cat. (Yes I have a cat and no I’ve no intention of becoming a cat lady). Anyway, here’s the story. It was Christmas morning in the house without a mouse, the only creature stirring was Mr. Jingle Bells. My friend eased down…
Read MoreThe Name Game
I walked into the holiday celebration and surveyed the room filled with a hundred guests. Fifty employees and their spouses. One hundred names to remember. I straightened my dress and smiled. No problem. People always tag me as a hyper-extrovert born with a photographic memory. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact…
Read MoreHoliday Survival Glam
As we looped around the pool at Southern Hills Golf Club, the Red Baron dropped me at the service entrance. Not on purpose, we were actually lost. The directions given by a security guard at the front gate were sketchy at best and since we were late, I hoofed it through the catering staging area.…
Read MoreHoliday Party Glam
A true friend never hesitates to create a diversion. *Note to self: Fancy party shoes plus polished tiled floor equals “Slip and Slide.” *Scientific fact: Time it takes from the initial ankle twist until full floor contact: two seconds. Time required for friend to distract the crowd: a millisecond. *Proven distractions in…
Read MoreHoliday Rush
In through your nose, out through your mouth. Call AAA.
Read MoreSenior-Glam
A thin stream of fractured daylight split through the amber sheer and woke me. I cracked one eye and searched for something familiar. I asked myself two pressing questions: Where am I and which way to the bathroom? A heavy baroque bureau decorated with family pictures came into focus. Chicago. My thoughts rewound and…
Read MoreBug-Man-Glam
Entomologists in a highly coveted PHD program discovered pheromones to repel beetles from weak trees. (Pine beetle be gone forever.) Normally the tiny bugs send out a “feel good” pheromone to attract other beetles. The synthetic anti-pheromone, however, sends out an opposite review. Move along, this tree wasn’t worth a Zagat rating. A top…
Read MoreThe Holiday Spirit
Earlier this week, I went to my magician/hair stylist (magician because she continues to masterfully cover the infantry of gray strands growing from my over-forty-year-old head) and heard an incredible story. Starts off bad, gets a little worse, and then ends famously. One of the women who works at the salon had her car…
Read MorePre-Holiday-Glam
A ton equals 2000 lbs. *Note to self: When you tell someone they “weigh a ton” chose the recipient carefully. *PC uses for ton: Describing airplanes, sports cars, linebackers, chocolate, muscle, and Parisian platforms. *On a date: Wow, you’re pick-up is so big, I’ll bet it pulls at least ten tones. …
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