“When in doubt cowboy out, make a space for you’re face.”   *Note to self:  Who says participating in high school sports can’t teach life skills?   *Other words of wisdom from my gymnastics coach:  perseverance always prevails, fear isn’t real, and you’re feet wont miss. After all, the balance beam is four inches wide.…

I was standing next to the Wheel of Fortune slots when my friend walked up with a hunky man in tow. (think Russell Crowe in “Gladiator”)    “Hey,” she said and hugged me. Her sidekick waited patiently.    After a few minutes of ‘how are yous’ and travel reports she turned and introduced the man…

Many friends, acquaintances really Different places, short visits Everything is familiar, but still, alone. Competent mostly, but aging quickly, forgetful. Still possessing that special something, coveted by so many and realized by few. The ultimate expert. Well-versed in the ways of the world But humbled to remain silent. Loyal, old-school, clinging to what used to…

Never bite into anything that is labeled time-release. Especially before a business dinner.   *Note to self: It takes less than ten minutes for the human body to flush beet red. An extra five to break out in hives.   *Color me beautiful: Whether you’re a spring, summer, winter or fall, lumpy, ruby colored skin…

In the middle of a seven-by-seven leg set, my work out guru eyed my trembling quads and said, “You need to start taking Creatine.”   “What?” I exhaled and let the steel plates clang. Anytime Smiley (Yes, his name is actually Smiley. Elmore. The Second. His son is the third.) makes a diet recommendation, I…

“All my friends are hookers.”   *Note to self: Never mind personality profiles. You can learn a lot about a person by what’s printed on the back of their t-shirt.   *The Ronald Reagan approach to relationships: Surround yourself with variety. People from different levels of education, ethnic backgrounds, vocations and socioeconomic groups. (Even if…

English interpretation of a French lunch menu.   Under appetizers:   Caviar frog leg emulsion, praline bomb finish. (580 euros)   *Note to self: If you’re going to bombed, may as well be a sugary praline.   *DOD’s new secret weapon: “The Sugar Bomb”.   *CNN report from Afghanistan: The Taliban army surrendered to UN…

“Greetings American.” The Parisian cab driver gave the Vulcan hand signal for “Live long and prosper”.   I reached for the door handle. Too late. The Moroccan expat hit the accelerator and merged into traffic.   With both hands flat against the bench seat, I braced for a wild ride.   How fast can I get…

If you’re trying to get somewhere in a hurry, don’t shoot the donkey that is carrying you’re wide load.   *Note to self: Helping others is good. Helping others who take potshots at you, bad.    *How to tell you’re being taken for granted: Sarcastic remarks, aggressive emails and cryptic limericks.(No, not about Nantucket. Generally…

“Bonkers”   *Note to self:  When trying to describe a particularly difficult person with grace, use a word no one really understands.   *Interpretations:  Crazy (institutionally or otherwise), funny, unreasonable, controlling or just a massive ass. (Not the same as “big bumps”.)   *Used in a sentence:  She’s/He’s completely bonkers. (See what I mean.)  …